Earth mama nipple butter :)

Cloth dipes :)

Mimijumi bottle

Updates and a story :)

So we took it back to basics for awhile with tube, syringe and cup feeding (hint: need to cup feed? Lids from bottles are a perfect size :) didn't work to get her back to breast. So I bought a couple big nipped (not as wide of a base as id like but oh well) 97cent bottles from walmart. She "latches" on to them great and loves them. Of all the bottles I bought I love these the best and they really are "slow flow"! It takes her the normal 15 ish minutes to eat where the other more expensive bottles take only a few minutes for her to gulp! And the clincher...the other day she ate for ten whole mminutes....a whole feed. At the breast. Nothing since but there's hope!

I had a breastfeeding friend of mine try to nurse her, to see if her aversion was to my breast, maybe my smell or the way I held her. She rejected hers too which did make me feel a bit better.

I'm considering trying a mimijumi bottle which is shaped just like a breast....seriously....ill post a pic soon.
I have hope for my girl. Regardless I'm not giving up miss!

Registered for summer term. Medical terminology, psychology, sociology :) I feel closer to my goal just seeing my schedule! :)

Also...amazing thing. While shopping at walmart for those new bottles, a man approached me. Just a kid really, maybe early twenties and he asked me if I was breastfeeding. (I applaud this man for being so invested he would approach a stranger in such a way) he then began to tell me his concerns....his fiance was in pain from her nipples, baby not latching correctly and sliding off on the nipple, milk not having come in (she was 3days pp), baby lost weight, etc. The normal concerns for a new baby and new breastfeeding relationship.
It was sweet. As my husband put it "could you need any more of a sign that this is your career?". I took this opportunity to ask some questions, learn enough to tell him its common and she and he both were doing amazing. He had already scheduled a lactation appt at the same clinic I go to. I praised him. How invested he is!! I recommended lanolin for her nips and a little icing against them before a feed and stressed his decision for lactation consulting is perfect because they can help her latch, sooner the better. I told him to hold out longer and keep her motivated and to tell her she is doing everything right. The first few weeks can be trying but his girls are both learning. I really only played the supportive psychological side of the lc coin and encouraged his help from an ibclc, but it felt right. I was so amazed at his dedication and how comfortable he felt talking to someone just for support. They are gonna do great if they keep that attitude. Wish I could check up on them :(

How wonderful its going to be to help new parents! :)

Not gonna lie...I'm proud of myself :)

Baby slept for longer than I thought she would! Nearly twelve hours which put me at 8 hours without pumping! Yielded 3 whole feeds worth at 4.5 ounces each :) 13.5 ounces isn't too bad. :)

back to breast: what NOT to do

so i am a firm believer in a strong support system when it comes to nursing. see, nowadays you may not have a mother that breastfed or a sister or grandmother. so you need ladies to help you with the basics (and a good lactation consultant too!)
for me, one of those support systems comes in the form of an internet group.
i asked them how they would recommend getting a baby back to breast.
to my surprise many women said "simply dont give the bottle...the baby wont starve itself...itll eat when its hungry."

while this may have worked for these women, and im grateful that it may have, its a dangerous experiment that i can not condone or recommend. a baby can get confused. it can get nervous or uncomfortable or just prefer something different...but it doesnt know its as easy as "oh...yeah...theres milk in this here breast." its about training them that its where it comes from, even if it means leaving a frustrating taste for the bottle by switcing to cup feeding or syringe feeding for a couple feeds. im excited to learn more in the coming years as i continue to study. but right now i have scheduled an appt with the lactation consultant at the Pedi office (and i get to see the pretty pediatrician :) and i will get her weighed, make sure she is doing well and get some hints to get her back.
my breasts miss her but ive been SO grateful for what ive been able to do.

more good news? i donated another 120 ounces to another mommy having trouble with her daughters bowel movements. had been constipated for 8 weeks with painful bowel movements while on formula. this woman was inspiring. she wanted SO badly to breastfeed despite problems with PCOS and a pituitary growth issue, that she nursed and pumped round the clock every hour for 8 weeks, took all the supplements one can take, and couldnt make enough for even a half a feed a day :( she tried so hard. but she turned to me! within 24 hours on my milk, baby had THREE movements. :) its a good feeling for SURE!

anyhow. ill update after my appt. dont lose hope my friends. if youre struggling, find another mom or 8 to help you through...but always make sure your baby is well fed, gaining weight with enough wet dipes and dirty ones too. and like i said, find a good LC. some problems can not be fixed by experienced mothers and need some special attentions!

much love and mothers milks,


Me.

:(

having a rough time. 

today is one of the hard days. 

the days where i put my girl to the breast and keep trying to gently coax her back and she flat out refuses. she no longer nurses a little at night, she will refuse even in sleep. 

she refuses even when i use the nipple shields. 

im struggling to keep my head at rational thinking. 

its not the method its the milk. 

but lets be real. breastfeeding has lots of benefits when shared at the breast. the temperature is right, the hormones are aflowing, and the baby can see into your soul :)

i was watching a tv show today and saw 2 women breastfeeding easily. in their sleep even, and i was overcome with sadness and jealousy :(

i miss her at the breast. i feel like we never stood a fighting chance and i want it back. times a wasting for her. she is three months old and as she gets older it will only be harder. 

its as if she forgot where milk comes from. 

sigh. 

in other news, my deep freezer stopped deep freezing and due to lack of space in my freezer, i happily gave away 120 oz of frozen milk for other mommies to use. 

im a healthy girl and the milk is going to good use. 

its a personal decision that i find to be somewhat therapeutic. 

i was incredibly happy to find that it has helped one baby already. 

i gave 90 oz to a woman with a baby who was getting about 1oz too little per nursing session, about 7-9 oz too few per day and was supplementing with formula for a couple days until my milk was picked up. she had reported to me that the baby had not had a bowel movement in 18 days. 

within 24 hours of supplementing with my milk, the baby passed a bowel movement. 

i was SO happy to hear! what great relief for the baby and her mummy and for me too, that my sadness has helped another. while my baby is not at the breast and im sad for it, my milk has provided nourishment for another child as well as my own!

anyhow. 

just an update. ive been studying and ill be registering for summer term next week. things are crazy here. we might be moving, husband may lose his job all while i have a couple years left before a possible career. im nervous and scared, but we have faith. 

its all only temporary. 

thank goodness breast milk is free :) if only my body produced diapers.... :)