Tongue Tie Diaries 02/24

THIS IS NOT GOING WELL.

by tuesday our plan was over. my nipples hurt SO bad and she wasnt latching or suckling right. i had to resort to the small syringe for EVERY feed since Tuesday.

so today we tried a nipple shield. (go figure when the LC did it it worked wonders. and every time after that i tried, it didnt work out so well.)

She latched well, but didnt suck well. in 20 minutes she took 26 ml, nearly a 3rd of what she did Monday.

its so frustrating.

thats an understatement.

im sitting there, looking at my sleepy daughter on my right breast, not getting enough as my left one leaks all over my shirt but is too blistered for latches.

the LC asks me about my emotional state.

i tell her flat out, im frustrated that i want to feed my baby of my breast and i cant.

she gets a larger syringe and a tube to use to finger feed.

the small tube runs along my finger and into her mouth (with the pad up against where the soft and hard palate meet). she shows me how by doing it first, and Little gets a good feeding in, then she has me try and little gets so frustrated she turns all red and cries all over.

LC gets out a special kind of bottle, thinking that might be the better option for exercising her tongue.

its a Medela SpecialNeeds Feeder, intended for babies with problems maintaining pace, suction or flow.

I can see her tongue curl around the nipple on the bottom, and i think i see her tongue move under her chin, but i see dimpling of her cheeks, and i worry she is mastering feeding with suction, and not working her tongue and thats the whole idea. if she doesnt work her tongue and figure it out and strengthen it....then im pumping for as long as the pump lets me. ive been let down with pumps before. and i only have this loaner until march second!

i wont lie. im just frustrated. so many women in the world dont have the same passion for breastfeeding, and that is their choice to make...but it frustrates me that those women are capable...and ive faced two babies with troubles, and i want it more than anything. :(

my mantra right now....She is getting my milk. She is getting my benefits. She is getting all the things that make me need to breastfeed.

i just hope theres still a chance.

more later.

Tongue Tie Diaries 2/20

went to see the LC today.

had very good luck with nursing for some reason.

maybe she is magic! (im excited to get to be magic too when im one :) )

baby girl got 70 ml! nearly 2.5 oz! in one sitting, that was perfect and right on track.

we discussed me coming back on friday. since i had little pain today we decided to forgo the tube finger feeding until friday at our next appt and alternate one pumping session with the small syringe feeding Little, and then one on the breast.

im hopeful! she seemed to be getting a little better at the latch.

i love seeing her little face close to me. i worried about not getting the bonding and security of mommy.

also we decided to try soothies yesterday because then i could see what she is doing with her tongue when she sucks. still not strong enough with her tongue and the thing falls out and she gets so frustrated! i feel horrible. she just wants to suckle for comfort and with the pain of her poor latch and tongue, i cant have her suckling at my breast like that for comfort! i just want to give her comfort! such a strange and scary place the world must be the first few weeks until she realizes its the new normal for her.

ill update how well our plan works out soon. :)